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I can't be in an abusive relationship - they buy me gifts all the time!

Writer's picture: Dr Kylie Hutchings MangionDr Kylie Hutchings Mangion

It's essential to recognize that receiving gifts does not negate the presence of an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships are complex and can manifest in various forms, including emotional, physical, psychological, and financial abuse. The fact that someone buys you nice gifts doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is healthy or safe.





Abusive partners may use gifts as a manipulation tactic to control and maintain power over their victims. They may use gifts to guilt-trip, distract, or keep the victim from seeking help or leaving the relationship. This can create a cycle of abuse, where the victim is led to believe that the abuse is somehow tolerable or justified because of the gifts they receive.

If you're concerned about your relationship or someone else's, it's crucial to be aware of other signs of abuse. These may include:

  1. Controlling behavior: Constantly checking your phone, isolating you from friends and family, or monitoring your activities.

  2. Emotional abuse: Belittling, name-calling, manipulating, or undermining your self-esteem.

  3. Threats and intimidation: Using fear, threats, or violence to control you or keep you in line.

  4. Physical abuse: Inflicting harm, hitting, slapping, or any form of violence.

  5. Financial abuse: Controlling your finances, limiting your access to money, or using money to control you.

If you suspect that you or someone you know might be in an abusive relationship, it's crucial to seek help and support from friends, family, or professionals. Consider reaching out to a local domestic violence hotline or support organization that can provide guidance and resources.


Remember, everyone deserves to be in a healthy, respectful, and loving relationship. No one should have to endure abuse, regardless of the gifts they receive or any other justifications they might try to rationalize the situation. Your safety and well-being should always be the top priority.

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